The Adventures of the Cullen Party Boat
by thetwilightfreak88
Summary: What happens when Edward convinces Bella to go boating with the Cullen kids? Lots of crazy Emmett pranks and Bella drinking. Takes place between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Rated M for Sexual humor and some language
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

**All characters belong to the genius Stephenie Meyer I just came up with this wacky plot**

Chapter 1:Bella's POV

I awoke the same as every day, looking into Edward's golden eyes. I still had a hard time processing that this god-like creature is my _fiancée. _I used to cringe at the word but lately it has started to appeal to me although I'll never admit it to Alice. "Good morning my fragile little human." Edward said, as he gently brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes.

"Good morning." I replied sleepily.

"How would you feel about spending the day with my family?" He asked, and it reminded me of my first trip to the Cullen house over a year ago.

"Um sure as long as I don't have to be Alice's dress-up doll again" I answered. Since I was going to be a Cullen in a little over a month Alice was constantly getting me to try on all kinds of designer clothes and if looks could kill, Alice would be dead by now.

"No promises" Edward said, and then gave me my favorite crooked smile.

"You know dazzling me all the time isn't fair."I shot at him.

"Who ever said I was fair?" He almost whispered and then gently pressed his lips to mine. At times like these I was very glad Edward can't read my mind because if he could he would know all of the almost sick fantasies that were going through my mind. Which of course wouldn't be fulfilled until we're married. Damn overly-moral vampire!

"What are you thinking?" He asked as he brushed his hand on my blushing cheek.

"Nothing" I replied, as I got up and grabbed my bag of toiletries. "I need a human moment."

"Of course" He said, as he got up and opened the door for me

"What about Charlie?" I asked because even though I'm 18 years old and also engaged my dad doesn't know that Edward stays in my room almost every night. In fact if he did know he'd probably have a heart attack.

"he went fishing…what else is new?" Then he chuckled the most beautiful sound and started to go downstairs." We'll need to be at my house soon." He added. Most of the time I'm very well behaved but since the night we became engaged I always try my best to get what I want _before_ we get married.

"You know I could get dressed faster if you help me." I stated with a devilish grin.

"not a chance you hormonal teenager." He said, and kissed me again.

"You damn dazzling vampire." I said under my breath as I went into the bathroom. Edward laughed again.

"I love you Bella."

A few minutes later i was dressed in my favorite skinny jeans and a Muse t-shirt. I figured Alice would make me change my outfit anyways so I'm not going to be too elaborate."So what's the plan for today?"

"Well Carlisle had to go to New York for a few days and Esme's currently working on a...project so it's just going to be us, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett." He stated, though he was clearly hiding something from me.

"Ok so you told me who'll be there but what are we doing?"I was really starting to get irritated.

"We're going boating."He said, cheerfully.

"Oh hell no!"

**Author's note:**

**So what did you think Good/Bad I know not much happened in this chapter but the next should get more exciting and reviews are gratefully accepted. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:Stephenie Meyer wrote The Twilight Saga I wrote this story so she owns the characters.**

Edward's POV

"Why not?" This girl is a complete mystery to me because from my experience with the human mind they all found water sporting to be enjoyable. But of course the only exception to my gift is the one mind that really would be fascinating to read. Especially at times like this.

"Uh me and water don't mix…the last time I swam if you could even call it that was when I went cliff jumping in La Push and almost drowned." She stated with a frown, remembering our separation which almost caused both of our deaths.

"Bella don't be ridiculous I'll be right there so I certainly won't let you drown."

"I know that…but wait won't you um…stand out." She was clearly running out of excuses.

"Alice says it'll be overcast all day. We should be fine." I said with a grin.

"Well damn I guess I'm out of excuses then." She said while bending over to tie her shoes. I couldn't help but notice her very tight jeans and how I very desperately counted the days till our wedding night. Luckily I'm the only mind reader around here besides Aro or Bella would know about the many times I've _accidentally_ looked into her bedroom window while she was changing. Yeah if there was another mind reader I'd be screwed.

Just then Bella stood up straight and said," Edward Cullen were you just checking out my butt?" Oh no busted!

"um no of course not." Man what's up with me I can't tell a white lie without muttering like an imbecile. Then she giggled almost like a little girl after passing a note in class. After a few seconds she composed herself and crossed her arms.

"Well I guess you're a man after all…so are we taking my car or yours?' She asked in an almost annoyed tone. I knew why too. She suspects that I 'killed' that dinosaur of a truck of hers and she's right. My Bella is so accident prone that I actually had to destroy that deathtrap of a Chevy and bribe someone in order to get the prototype of the new Mercedes Guardian. Normally I wait for a car to be released but with Bella's tendency of attracting danger I had to find her the safest car possible immediately and there was no better than the Guardian. Also there was no way she would give up that truck willingly.

"Let's take your car. I ran here." I said smoothly.

"Fine." She said, while grabbing her keys.

"Do you want me to drive?" I had to ask because that car is powerful and Bella still has human reflexes.

"Yes you can drive." Bella answered and tossed me the keys.

After a few minutes of well over the speed limit driving we pulled up to my family's white mansion. Emmett and Jasper were currently in the middle of a wrestling match and from her thoughts, Alice was picking out a swimsuit for Bella. As soon as Bella was out of the car Emmett's thoughts started racing.

"_wow Edward you actually got Bella to come?" _I nodded and led Bella into the house. Then Emmett started thinking something that made me know they're up to something. _"I'm on a boat. I'm on a boat. Everybody look at me cause I'm sailin on a boat. I'm on a boat. I'm on a boat. Take a good, hard look at the motherfuckin boat. I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me. Straight floatin on a boat on the deep blue sea. Bustin 5 knot wind, whippin out my coat. You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat." _I don't think I need to continue reading his it's no help. So I tried Jasper's but sadly he was also singing that stupid song in his head.

"Edward what's wrong?" Bella asked and I realized I was probably staring off into space.

"nothing's wrong but I think Alice wants you upstairs in her room." I said casually.

"oh goody!" Bella said sarcastically and went upstairs.

"_Edward I'm going to work on the cottage. Don't let Emmett tease Bella too much today."_ Thought Esme.

"don't worry mom Rosalie will help me keep him in line."

"Good." Was all she said before she kissed my cheek and ran at un-humanly speed into the woods behind the house.

"Bella I swear to god if you don't put on this swimsuit I will have Rosalie hold you down and I'll force it on you!" Alice yelled from upstairs.

"Alice this isn't a swimsuit this is dental floss with a European tag!" Bella shot back. The image that popped into my mind from Bella's description was very appealing and it made me want to run upstairs and hug my adopted sister.

"ugh fine how about this one?" Alice said as she probably handed Bella another suit.

"huh this one isn't too bad." Bella said as she shut Alice's bathroom door. Damn it!

**Author's note:was it good/bad? review please**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and it's characters I just own this fun fanfic.**

**Bella's POV:**

I looked into the mirror. I saw myself in a deep blue bikini that was by far the most revealing thing I have ever worn in front of anyone. I took a deep breath and left the bathroom. I was surprised to see that Rosalie had joined Alice. Though our relationship has improved since she told me why I should stay human she still doesn't like me too much because I haven't changed my mind about becoming one of them.

"Wow Bella you look awesome." Rosalie said, and I knew something was definitely up.

"Um thanks Rosalie…Alice?" I asked while still a little bit embarrassed by my outfit or lack of one. Alice was blank. I knew well enough that when that happens it means she's having a vision. After a few seconds Alice's face went back to normal and she was smiling like crazy. "Alice what did you see?"

"Oh nothing special." She answered and was clearly lying. The she looked over at Rosalie and gave her a smile and nodded.

"Ok guys please tell me what's going on?" I asked.

"Bella you'll know soon enough." Rosalie said.

"Actually Edward should be helping Emmett outside for five more minutes Rose. I think we should tell Bella what she will be doing this afternoon." Alice said coyly.

"Damn it someone tell me what's going on!" These vampires were going to drive me insane!

"Bella you're going to flash Edward while we're on the boat." Rosalie said in an apologetic tone.

"WHAT?" Ok so I had totally tried that almost a month ago before our run in with the newborn army but still that was when we were completely alone.

"Bella it will only be for like five seconds and besides I know about your attempt at stripping for Edward before the battle so what's the difference?" Alice said. Leave it to Alice to bring up the exact thing I was thinking of.

"Alice that was when we were alone in his bedroom not on a boat with four other people on a boat. I'm not one of those slutty girls you see on Girls Gone Wild tapes!" What even made them think I could possibly do something like that?

"Oh my god Bella actually said slutty!" Alice said with a surprised look on her face.

"Yeah and she knows what Girls Gone Wild is!" Rosalie added.

"Guys I know I'm a little bit prissy but I do know how to curse and Charlie likes to watch Comedy Central when there isn't a game on and that channel shows a lot of Girls Gone Wild commercials." I really hope he hasn't given in to those ads because even though he's been alone for 18 years the thought of him doing _that_ is disgusting.

"Bella if you do this for us I'll not make you try on any clothes for two weeks." Alice offered. For her that was a major sacrifice.

"And I'll try to accept your decision…but no promises." Rosalie added. Wow they must really want me to show Edward my boobs. I smacked my forehead.

"ok fine but after this Emmett is not allowed to make any jokes or comments about it to anyone…especially Charlie." What am I getting myself into?

"Alright if Emmett makes a single remark about that I'll personally break off his penis." Rosalie said while smiling.

"HEY!" Emmett yelled from downstairs.

"uh oh they're back we can't talk or think about this anymore." Alice said while going into her bathroom to put on her own swimsuit.

"I'll tell you when you should do it." Rosalie whispered.

"You guys owe me big time!" I shot at her and went downstairs.

"Whoa Bella I had no idea you could be so h-"

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence Emmett!" Edward yelled at his sick-minded adopted brother from behind me. I turned around and couldn't help myself when my jaw dropped. Edward was dressed in a pair of expensive looking swim trunks and was showing more than I'd ever seen of him. To my surprise he also seemed to be checking me out and then he said,

"Wow Bella you look so-"

"Sexy!" Emmett interrupted. Rosalie growled from upstairs and I had to laugh.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" I asked because all I knew was that I would be showing Edward my boobs this afternoon and nothing else.

"Sorry love but I promised Alice that everything would be a surprise." Edward said while kissing the top of my head.

"Alright then when are we leaving?" I asked because I was getting impatient.

"Right now." Alice answered for him as she and Rosalie came down the stairs also sporting bikinis. It made me remember our junior prom and how plain I felt compared to them. They're perfect and I'm just me.

"Bella why are you feeling depressed?" Jasper asked because he could feel what I was feeling.

"Alice and Rosalie are so much more pretty than me. It's not fair." I said trying to sound like I was kidding but I'm a terrible actress.

"Bella please!" Edward said while he wrapped his arms around me. "you're absolutely perfect."

"uh huh." I said doubtfully and started to kiss him.

"Hey guys I love PDA as much as the next guy but we need to get going." Emmett said with some sarcasm. Without breaking our kiss I did something I'd never done before. I held my right hand up and gave Emmett the middle finger.

"oh ouch Bella that really hurt!" Emmett yelled with clear sarcasm as he got into the drivers seat of his monster Jeep.

"Emmett you're almost 100 years old grow up!" Rosalie said as she got into the passenger side. Edward sighed and said,

"You gotta love the Cullens." Then he helped me into the backseat.

**Author's Note: **

**Good/Bad? Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note:

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and it's characters I just own this wacky story.

**Edward's POV:**

**Sitting in a car, next to Bella while she was almost naked was(and I can not enunciate this further)FUCKING TORCHER!** I was starting to see how silly I was for going with my ancient conscience to protect Bella's virtue when she practically threw herself at me almost a month ago.

I was currently trying to balance hiding the erection that was caused by thinking about what almost happened with Bella, and trying to figure out what all of my siblings were hiding from me when Bella broke the silence.

"uh guys if I'm going to survive this little family outing I'm going to need some alcohol." I couldn't believe what I just heard _my Bella_ asking for alcohol!

"Oh don't worry Bella we have Busch up the ying-yang." Rosalie said as she cracked a smile.

"That you do babe." Emmett said seductively as he put his right hand on Rosalie's thigh.

"uh guys I know you've been married for who knows how long but do you mind? PDA is really disgusting!" Bella shot at them and I couldn't contain my laughter.

"It's no wonder you're still a virgin Bella. You're just too damn innocent!" Emmett said while recalling what he and Rosalie did last night.

"Emmett I really did not need to see you and Rose having sex!" I shot at my perverted brother. Bella laughed along with the two siblings in the car.

"Okay lets step away from this conversation cause I just got a really nasty image in my head. So Rosalie you brought beer?" Bella asked almost professionally.

"Yeah we told Carlisle we were using it for an experiment because everyone in Forks thinks we're only nineteen so he bought it for us." Rosalie answered. Obviously this was Emmett's doing.

Ever since the overly extravagant engagement party Alice threw for Bella and I(which unfortunately had an open bar)Emmett has tried to get Bella drunk because he thinks it would be hilarious. I suppose since she only has about a month left before she won't be able to consume anything but blood I should let her have any human experience possible. Even the ones I don't particularly like.

"Bella I thought you don't like alcohol." Ok I don't really know. The subject just hasn't really popped up.

"I don't really but desperate times call for desperate measures." She answered as Rosalie handed her a can of beer.

"So Bella how far have you and Edward gotten in terms of bases?" Emmett asked and Bella nearly choked.

"Excuse me?" She asked.

"you know Bella first is kissing, second is boob fondling, third is-"Rosalie would have continued along the list if I hadn't stopped her.

"ENOUGH!" Bella giggled at my response before she answered,

"uh how about almost second."

"Almost?" Emmett and Rosalie asked at the same time.

"Well that one time when Alice kidnapped me and Edward had just gotten his bed I swear he might have touched my boob." Bella said shyly.

"Why Edward you sly dog" Emmett said sarcastically. Bella seemed uncomfortable talking about our sex life or rather lack of one. So she attempted to change the subject again.

"I know we're going boating but where?"

"The Oregon coast." Rosalie answered and she and Emmett both thought about a night on the beach and they were-

"Damn it stop thinking about having sex if I could throw up I would!" My outburst just caused all three of them to laugh again. Why oh why didn't we ride with Alice and Jasper? After a few minutes of silence the ocean became visible. I looked over at Bella to find her eyes starting to tear up. "Bella what's wrong?" Why is the love of my existence crying because she saw the ocean? She instantly wiped the tears away with the back of her hand.

"It's nothing don't worry about it." She said quickly. I know from being around her for over a year that it's never nothing. Something's wrong.

**Author's note:**

**Is it Good/Bad? I need feedback please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note:**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight I own the Cullen's Party Boat.**

Bella's POV:

Wow that was embarrassing. I just got caught crying! Luckily Edward can't read my mind because I know he wouldn't like what I was crying about. When I first saw the beach I couldn't help but remember times with Jacob. He had been gone for weeks and I'd been having Seth keep me updated on how he's doing.

Even though I still really care about Jacob I don't want Edward to think I made a mistake in choosing him. I love Jacob like family and maybe a little bit romantically but I love Edward more. Sometimes I think that if I was a wolf I would have imprinted on Edward or something because I really can't live without him.

"Ok we're here." Emmett announced as he parked near some docks that were filled with expensive looking yachts.

"Let me guess you guys have a gold plated boat?" I said in a sarcastic tone.

"Well actually we tried that but it made the boat too heavy and it sunk." Alice said who was now outside the jeep.

"Why am I not surprised?" I said while jumping out of the car.

"So Alice which boat will we be taking today?" Rosalie asked because Alice of course already knew.

"The party boat." She answered.

"HA I told you!" Emmett yelled at Jasper and held out his hand. Jasper growled and gave Emmett twenty dollars.

"Come on Bella." Edward said as he put his hand on the small of my back and led me onto the docks.

"So what kind of activities do vampires do on a boat?" I had to ask.

"Well we really like to wakeboard." he answered while catching me after I tripped on a loose board.

"wow I learn more about you everyday." I said in a soft voice as I got up onto my toes and pressed my lips to his. Emmett whistled at us from the parking lot.

"so I take it you've never tried wakeboarding?" he asked with a smile. I laughed.

"I think you need balance to be able to do that Edward." I can barely stand up on flat ground let alone on a board going over waves.

"Well we also brought a tube and I'll even ride with you." he said knowing that tubing doesn't really require balance. He's still trying to make me have every human experience possible.

"Fine as long as I get to watch you wakeboard." When I first saw the Cullens play baseball I was amazed so I couldn't wait to see how vampires wakeboard. Just then Edward stopped in front of a boat that could be called either a small yacht or a huge speedboat. "Haven't the amazing Cullens gone green yet?" That boat has to be a gas hog.

"Actually yes Rosalie set this up with a vegetable oil engine." of course she did.

"let me tell you. I think this is my masterpiece." said Rosalie who was now examining the engine. I don't think I'll ever get over how creeped out I get over their super-human speed.

"well are we going to get going?" said Emmett as he jumped into the boat.

"you would think after being a vampire for eighty years he would stop acting like a child." said Edward as he picked me up by the waist and put me down gently in the boat.

"you know I can move by myself." I shot at him. Emmett laughed.

"Bella I just saved you from a broken nose." He said as he gave Alice a glance.

"I figured you would want your nose to remain intact." Alice said as she sat down in a seat across from where I was. I refuse to admit this aloud but I'm actually really glad Alice saw my future for that one because not only would my nose never be the same, but also broken noses equal lots of blood. Which is something one tends to avoid while on a boat full of vampires. Jasper sat next to Alice and said to her,

"she's grateful." Crap I forgot about Jasper.

"I already knew that." she said to him then turned to me.

"You're welcome Bella." ugh she's getting on my nerves!

"you know when I'm changed and if I happen to have a special ability I'm going to use it against you somehow."

"oh please Bella your _special ability_ will probably end up making you the only clumsy vampire." Alice said.

"Oh burn!" Rosalie said before laughing.

"what did I say about teasing Bella today?" Edward shot at his siblings.

"you said to not tease Bella." Emmett answered. Edward was right Emmett does act like a child.

"that's right and what are you guys doing?" Edward asked as if he were talking to four-year olds.

"Teasing Bella." Emmett said sheepishly.

"exactly so knock it off!" Edward yelled at them. I must say that when he's protective of me it's a little bit sexy. Rosalie then followed Edward by smacking Emmett in the back of the head.

"ok I'm driving." she said as she got into the driver's seat and expertly got us away from the docks and out onto the nearly empty bay.

"it's amazing that all of these ignorant humans don't think today is a nice day." Jasper said with his traditional southern accent.

"Well most humans think that the sun has to be out to consider a day _nice_." I said almost involuntary. And I thought I was over my Phoenix sun obsession.

"Bella you'll learn once you sparkle in the sunlight that any day that you can be around humans in daylight is nice." Rosalie said with clear annoyance. She still resents me for choosing the life that she hates. It looks like we aren't quite what some people would call _friends_ yet.

**Author's note: I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while I also write Youtube stories and they are higher up on my priority list than this one but I do really enjoy writing this one so I need feedback please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note:**

**I'm so so sorry that I haven't updated in forever in case you didn't know I started a new story and I just got back from my vacation to Forks but I'm back so here's The Adventures of the Cullen Party Boat chapter 6!**

Edward's POV:

Oh no Rosalie's acting bitchy towards Bella (I know what else is new right?).I couldn't take it I had to ask something that I've been wanting to know. "Hey Rose were you on your period when Carlisle changed you?" I asked. Bella giggled. Rosalie looked annoyed.

"I don't remember. Why?" Rosalie asked.

"Cause you kind of seem like you're forever damned with PMS." I answered and burst into laughter.

"Fuck you Edward!" Rosalie yelled at me. Emmett and Bella were both laughing uncontrollably.

"ok I think we should go now." Jasper said as he started the engine and we took off. Bella still isn't used to going fast so she wrapped her arms around me. Which felt nice because it felt like I was protecting her again. I've never admitted this to her but she's never sexier to me than when she's in danger. It's only until she gets hurt that my anger towards the thing that hurt her overpowers my attraction to her.

When Bella and I were in Jacksonville I once overheard her mother say that I look like I'm about to jump in front of a bullet for her, and I am.

"ok who's going first?" Emmett asked.

"you are Emmett." Alice answered as she had a vision of Emmett wakeboarding.

"Sweet!" Emmett said as he removed his t-shirt and jumped into the water. Rosalie threw him his board and rope. After he was adjusted and in position he gave us the thumbs up sign. Jasper gunned the engine and Emmett began to glide on the water.

"Hey Edward?" Bella asked.

"yes Bella?"

"Vampires have perfect balance so how is this fun if you guys never fall?" She asked.

"oh we fall it just takes a little distraction." I answered.

"yeah Bella since I have my visions I'm probably the most clumsy vampire ever." Alice added.

"which reminds me it's time." Rosalie said but before I could stop her from acting out her thoughts she grabbed Jasper by the back of the neck and kissed him on the lips. Emmett saw them and tumbled forward into a crash that could have killed a human.

"Rose I told you not to do that!" Alice yelled. Jasper was just staring wide-eyed at Rosalie. Then Emmett jumped into the boat and punched Jasper in the face.

"NOBODY KISSES ROSE BUT ME!" Emmett roared. Bella laughed and held up her hand for Rosalie to high five. Rosalie hesitated but reluctantly tapped her hand against Bella's.

"Emmett stop you still owe me for when you kissed Alice to distract me last time." Rosalie said to calm Emmett down from his rage. Bringing up our last trip brought a smile to Emmett's face. A crack had formed where Jasper had been punched and was just now starting to heal itself. I thought I would probably be best if I took my turn now to take a break from their antics.

"how about I take my turn now?" I offered.

"please do." Jasper said with some pain in his voice. I jumped into the water and decided to use Emmett's board. After my feet were securely in the holds and I had a grip on the rope I gave Jasper the thumbs up sign. Wakeboarding is pretty boring to vampires because no boat could go as fast as our running. The real fun comes out of the crazy things we do to get the boarder to fall.

I'm really not easily distracted but it's fun to see what they try to pull. I had been doing flips and such for about five minutes when I realized something. This was the first time I had brought Bella with us and of course my siblings would take advantage of that. Before I could make a stop signal to Jasper, Alice yelled,

"NOW BELLA!" now what? Bella shook her head. Ok what's going on? I read Emmett's mind and he was singing _I'm on a Boat _again.

"Em, Jazz look away!" Alice yelled. Emmett and Jasper both turned their heads away from Bella. Alice started reciting the Bible in Chinese in her head and Rosalie started singing _Barbie Girl. _I heard Bella breath out and she then reached around to her back. All of the sudden her top was off and I saw everything! The next thing I knew I was in the water.

Oh my god I just saw Bella topless! And she knew I did! When I got to the surface Bella's bikini top was back on and her face was beet red. Rosalie looked over the edge at me and smiled.

"Are you missing something Edward?" She asked and began to giggle. I looked down and realized my swim trunks were gone. They must have fallen off during my little spill. I looked around and couldn't find them anywhere.

"um will someone throw me a towel please?" I asked in a weak voice. Alice held up a dark red beach towel.

"oh you mean this?" she asked and was clearly playing dumb.

"Yes Alice that." I answered. I wasn't in the mood for their games. She looked like she was about to throw it to me but shook her head.

"nope." was all she said and went out of sight from me. Bella and the rest of my siblings were now all looking at me. I was pissed off now.

"Why don't you take a picture it'll last longer!" I yelled.

"ok!" Bella said and she snapped a picture of me with the camera she got from Charlie.

I swear one day my family is going to drive me crazy! But I love the hell out of them.

**Author's note:**

**I have seriously lost all inspiration for this story so this is the last chapter but I'm going to be posting new chapters for Aiden rapid fire. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	7. IMPORTANT MESSAGE!

**Hello Fans! After reading my last chapter of The Adventures of the Cullen Party Boat one of you sent me a message asking if you could continue this story. Well after thinking about it for a while I have decided that this story will be continued by skittletime ! Congratulations your well written message won me over!**


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